Individual IFS + Depth Therapy

There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you.
— Maya Angelou
Photo by Derek Thomson on Unsplash

I blend IFS with trauma-informed depth therapy to help you find relief from anxiety, burnout, depression, relationship challenges, life transitions, and grief.

bringing mindfulness to your choice: Are we a good fit?

I truly believe there’s a great therapist out there for anyone who needs one. My practice attracts curious, self-reflective people who invest in their mental health and overall wellness, crave space to slow down and get in touch with their feelings, and can relate to any of the following issues:

Relationships: How to understand your feelings, trust your experience, and feel more connected to others and yourself.

  • You grew up experiencing family conflict, separation, illness, intense stress, or childhood emotional neglect that brought on a “parentified” identity, and now you find yourself ambivalent about relationships, whether you’re in one or not.

  • You tend to overextend yourself, personally or professionally, and feel resentful or exhausted—and yet asking for and receiving support also feels hard.

  • Your early caregivers didn’t understand how to support you emotionally, leading you to doubt or minimize your own feelings and needs.

Identity: How to reconcile your personal identity with external messages and conditioning, who you were told you are.

  • You want to more fully express fundamental beliefs or parts of your identity but worry about others’ understanding or acceptance.

  • You grew up feeling misunderstood in your identity by your family, community, or society at large, and while you want to respect others’ experiences, you want space to live your own truth. (This could mean anything from racial or gender identity to career choice, hobby and lifestyle choices, spirituality, or being a highly sensitive person.)

 

Slowing Down: What doES IFS and depth therapy look like?

I view therapy as a collaborative discovery process: working together to understand your internal experience, especially as it unfolds in the room, is a primary task for us both. Given that foundation, depending on your needs:

  • We might explore the influence of past events on your present beliefs and coping strategies.

  • We might frame and map your experiences using the IFS framework of parts and embodied Self Energy.

  • We might make supportive space for your present-moment thoughts, emotions, or somatic (body) sensations to help you understand a confusing situation, or to release physical tension that can remain stuck in our bodies long after a traumatic experience.

  • We might look at how you tend to deal with your feelings and find more aligned options for you. 

In our work together, the focus is on you: your history, your patterns, your emotional responses. By getting familiar with your internal experiences and learning to work skillfully with them, you will make more informed and intentional life choices.

 

Resourced and resilient: More about my approach

As an integrative psychotherapist, my clinical approach is well rounded, holistically minded, and co-created with you. Within a practical, depth-oriented psychodynamic foundation, I blend mindful self-compassion, relational/analytic, embodied/somatic, and Internal Family Systems interventions to support your healing process.

I believe therapy works best when we offer curiosity and attentiveness to your moment-to-moment inner experience, which leads you to the insights and answers that work best for you. I work best with clients who are ready (and maybe even excited!) to consistently engage in a deep, patient way with themselves—gradually and safely allowing for honest vulnerability rather than rushing for quick fixes.

My style is earnest and directive, yet intuitive and spacious. I might challenge your thinking about a situation or help you explore practical options, but I’m just as likely to hang back at a potent moment to allow your inner experience to bring you insight. I will always support your autonomy, your mindful self-reflection, and radical acceptance of your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations.

Everyone's story is unique, so your timeline and progress will depend on our chemistry together, your readiness to invest in therapy, your ongoing commitment, and your goals.

Think we could be a match? Contact me to get started.

IFS Consultation for Therapists

Shirin Shoai, MFT IFS Consultation and IFS Therapy in Oakland

Photo by Compagnons on Unsplash

I offer group and individual Internal Family Systems consultation for curious IFS-informed clinicians and for IFS-trained therapists seeking IFS certification.

Embodying Self-Energy and Relating with Parts: getting IFS consultation

Curious about IFS? Trained and seeking IFS certification? IFS-informed and wanting help with stuck points or therapist parts? Let me be a resource for you!

I’m an Approved Clinical Consultant with the IFS Institute, which means that you can count our hours toward your IFS certification. I’m also an experienced PA (Program Assistant) for multiple Level 1s and 2s led by Tamala Floyd, Frank Anderson, and more. Like depth therapy, I view IFS therapy as a relational process of attunement rather than a “rush to unburden the exile.” So, case consultation also involves working together to identify and befriend your own parts that arise with clients.

Depending on your needs:

  • We might discuss the finer points of the IFS model through video presentation or case conceptualization.

  • We might support insight on your own experience of your clients (countertransference) using an IFS lens (U-Turns, unblending).

  • We might make room for brief role-plays in order to gain an embodied perspective on your clients.

  • We might also check in about your practice in general and discuss ideas about supporting your growth as an IFS clinician.

Interested in IFS consultation? Contact me to get started.